


i don't want to be another social casualty

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Harry is a dick, Liam's Easily Persuaded, Louis Has Very Little Confidence, M/M, Niall Likes Bourbon, Zayn Is Gorgeous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 16:25:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3735652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Hi, um, I know you don't know me and I don't know you, so this is extremely odd, but I'm trying to convince my friends and ex-boyfriend that I can get any guy's number and you're the hottest one I've ever seen, so will you write down a fake number so I don't become a casualty in my ex's war on society? Or at least pretend to?" </p>
<p>or where Louis meets Zayn in a bar and it's sort of the best moment of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i don't want to be another social casualty

**Author's Note:**

> Title from 'Social Casualty' by Five Seconds of Summer. 
> 
> I'm very Zouis af so.

Louis sits between his best mates, beers around the table. 

He really shouldn't be here, especially when he knows there's a 110% chance of Harry Styles showing up.   
"Look." Liam says, eyes wide. "Harry."   
"Shitty ass fuck." Louis mutters, wide-eyed. 

Harry's his ex. 

They had a horrible break-up weeks ago where Louis cried and Harry lied.

Louis finds it difficult to speak _about_ him, let alone drink with him. 

He tells Liam exactly that, but Liam's an asshole and he calls Harry over anyway.   
"Hey, Harry!"   
"Liam!" Harry grins and it's so beautiful that Louis' heart pounds in his chest. 

God, Louis hates himself for loving Harry.   
"Louis." Harry says, ever the people-person.   
"Asshole." Louis says and then covers his mouth apologetically. "I meant Harry, but same thing."   
"Ouch, Lou." Harry frowns, mock-hurt. "You really know how to break a guy's heart." 

Louis scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest.   
"As if you have one."   
"Okay," Niall says, loud. "Let's do some shots to diminish this tension! I'll go get them." 

Niall leaves quickly and Louis can hear him order bourbon _"and lots of it! Stat!"_. 

Louis glances at Liam, angry. 

How can he just invite Louis' number one enemy to drink with them? 

Louis had gone to his house and cried for hours over his and Harry's break-up and then Liam invites him for some _beer_? How fucked up is that?

Louis wants to punch Liam until his nose breaks under his fists, until he feels the anguish and pain that Louis does. 

But he doesn't. 

He just downs the two glasses of beer in front of him and glares.   
"Yeah, I am out of Louis' league." Harry says. "A bit."   
" _Excuse me_?" Louis snaps.   
"Be honest, lovely Lou. While your ass is glorious, your personality is not. It tends to turn off most males."   
" _My_ personality?" Louis can't believe he's getting advice from the boy who thought that all people bowed down to his every will.   
"Yes, you're too...uncontrollable. You talk back and start fights and it's a complete turn-off."   
"My personality is fine without your criticism, asshole," Louis growls. "Shut up."   
"You couldn't flirt with one guy in this place with your supposedly "fine" personality. They'd all turn you down." Harry dismisses him with a wave of his hand. 

Louis glares at him, angry at the entire fucking bar.   
"I'll show you, you fucking prick." Louis hisses. "The hottest guy in here...I'll get his number. Just you fucking wait."   
"Good luck." Harry scoffs. "He completely blew me off and I'm _in_ his league." 

Louis glances at the boy Harry points at and damn, he _is_ beautiful. 

Like a fucking god. 

Messy dark hair, shaved on the sides, and golden eyes. 

He is so out of Louis' league that Louis physically shakes as he crosses the bar to him. He stands awkwardly next to the beautiful man's table, biting his lip. 

What should he say? 

The truth? 

A lie? 

He clears his throat to grab the golden eyed boy's attention.   
"Um, hi? I'm Louis and my friends and ex-boyfriend are seated over there across the bar. They're all fucking dicks, honestly, but they were saying that I have a shitty personality and have no chance with people in their leagues, let alone yours, and I wanted to prove them wrong...so do you think you could write down your number? A fake one, if you really don't like me even. I just don't want to become another casualty in my ex's war on the world." Louis smiles, playing with his fingers awkwardly. "So please?"

The boy looks Louis over carefully, mouth in a straight line. 

He looks neither impressed nor unimpressed. 

It makes Louis' heart beat faster. He feels sweat prickle under his shirt and on his forehead. 

If he's just humiliated himself in front of his friends, ex, and the hot guy, so be it.

The boy doesn't say anything, just scribbles something on the red napkin in front of him.   
"I'm Zayn." He says, folding the napkin. 

He hands it to Louis with a slight grin.   
"Good luck, mate." He winks and nods. "Which one's your ex?"   
"Oh, um, he's the one in the black button-up that's half buttoned."   
"Oh." Zayn wrinkles his beautifully formed nose. "Harry, right?"   
"Yeah. He says you turned him down. Doesn't happen quite often." Louis smiles. "Proud of you, Zayn."   
"Thanks, bro." Zayn chuckles. "He's a bit of a pretentious dick, ain't he?"   
"Yes, oh Lord. You have no idea!" Louis sags, relieved. 

He hasn't fucked it up yet, it seems.   
"He told me that my personality "turns off most males"."   
"Wow, what a prick." Zayn stresses.   
"I can't believe I dated him." Louis shakes his head.   
"Yeah, me either." Zayn laughs and it's the most beautiful sound that Louis has ever heard. 

He nearly faints right there.   
"You should get back." Zayn says, grinning. "And tell Harry that he's a fucking moron because your personality is better than his."   
"Thanks, Zayn." Louis smiles. "Bye." 

Louis turns, gripping the red napking in his fist. He crosses the room, confident smirk on his lips.   
"Guess who got the hot guy's number?" He holds up the napkin and laughs. "Guess I'm more his type."   
"You're fucking with me." Harry says, critically.   
"I am not. Here's his number. Here's your fucking proof." Louis radiates confidence. 

He feels so goddamn smug that he can't hold back the grin.   
"Call him." Harry says with a dark chuckle. "Then we'll really know." 

Fuck, fuck, _fuck_. 

Louis is beyond fucked. 

He doesn't waver, though. Just nods.   
"Fine." He pulls out his phone and dials the numbers. 

He doesn't turn around to watch Zayn, just listens to the phone ring. Harry, Liam, and Niall do, though. They turn and watch. 

It rings and rings until Louis is sure it's going to go to voicemail. But then it doesn't. And Zayn's angelic voice pours through the phone.   
"Hello?" He says and Louis grins at Harry. 

He can't believe he'd really gotten sex-god Zayn's number!

He knew he was good, but not this good!  
"Hi. Just proving that this is your number and that I  _can_  get someone as gorgeous as you." Louis smiles, flitting. "Care to speak to Harry?"   
"Yeah, put him on." Zayn says and Louis can hear the smirk. 

Louis passes his phone to Harry, bursting with arrogance. 

He's never felt so good about himself. Never!  
"Hello?" Harry says and then he looks stunned. 

He frowns, eyebrows drawn low in a look that Louis hates to admit is beautiful.   
"What the fuck just happened?" Harry says a few moments later as he passes Louis his phone back.   
"I just got the guy you said I couldn't." Louis smirks. "I hope you're successfully awed."   
"I can't believe he turned me down but didn't turn you down." Harry throws his hands up in the air. "What is the purpose of living anymore?" 

Louis laughs at him and then crosses the bar to Zayn's table. 

Only, Zayn's gone and there's a napkin and a half empty bottle of beer left behind. 

Louis picks up the napkin and reads it. 

He grins, shaking his head in amazement. 

He tosses it back onto the table, the curly words staring at the ceiling as he rushes toward the exit. 

**'Meet me outside in five -Z'.**

Somehow Louis knows it's just for him. 

He pushes open the door, trying to remain calm. His hands shake as he plays with the bottom of his shirt. 

He glances around, spotting Zayn smoking near a sleek white car. Louis walks to him, standing next to him and lighting up himself.   
"Got your napkin note." Louis says. "I'm Louis, by the way."   
"Wanna fuck?" Zayn turns, stubbing out his cigarette.   
"What?" Louis frowns.   
"Would you like to fuck?  _Voulez-vous baiser? Quieren joder_?" Zayn annunciates and Louis knows the last two definitely aren't English. 

French, maybe? And then Italian? Spanish? Only god knows.   
"I don't fuck on the first date." Louis says with a frown. "It's impolite."   
"Congrats," Zayn says with an under-exaggerated hand gesture. "You passed."   
"What? Was that a test?"   
"Yes." Zayn says, soft. "It was. I don't fuck on the first date either." 

Well, Louis thinks, he's in for one hell of a ride. 

;;

It's another week before Louis gets the nerve to text Zayn. 

He rewrites the text seven times before he sends it, and even then, he freaks out a bit, which is understandable. 

Zayn's beauty is limitless and Louis' wordplay is finite. 

**To Zayn at 5:56pm**

**Hi**

So Louis isn't the most eloquent person in the world. Sue him. 

He gets his response nearly immediately. 

**_From Zayn at 5:56pm_ **

**_What? took you a week to figure out what to say???_ **

Louis grins, rolling his eyes, and texts back with a little less anxiety. 

**To Zayn at 5:57pm**

**yes. my confidence shrinks around excessively beautiful people**

**_From Zayn at 5:57pm_ **

**_that mean it shrinks around you, though, and then it's a paradox so_ **

**To Zayn at 5:58pm**

**did you just call me excessively beautiful???? aw, zaynie, how kind of you**

Louis crawls out of bed, leaving his phone, and takes a piss. After he washes his hands, he returns to get Zayn's response. 

**_From Zayn at 5:58pm_ **

**_you are though._ **

**_From Zayn at 5:59pm_ **

**_do you want to go out later??? i'm free and you're beautiful and we'd make one hell of a scene_ **

**_From Zayn at 6:04pm_ **

**_or not. whatever._ **

Louis shakes his head with a disconcerting frown. 

**To Zayn at 6:08pm**

**Sorry i was pissing. um that sounds lovely. where are you taking me? ;)**

Louis sends it and then immediately regrets the winky face. 

Too much, too fast, he thinks. 

His phone buzzes ten seconds later. 

_**From Zayn at 6:08pm** _

_**Bowling???** _

**To Zayn at 6:08pm**

**Sounds like a plan.**

;;

Louis rolls the ends of the legs on his jeans anxiously as he sits on his couch, waiting for Zayn to pull up. 

He's wearing his tightest jeans, hoping that they make his ass look even greater than it already does, and his cleanest shirt. 

He looks pretty great. 

Someone raps their knuckles against Louis' door and he rushes to open it and then stops himself. 

He can't look too desperate. 

He waits ten seconds and then pulls it open, grinning.   
"Hi." He says.  
" _Bonjour_." Zayn grins. "Ready to go?"  
"Definitely. I can't wait to kick your ass at bowling." Louis steps out, shutting the door of his flat behind him.   
"You're going to be waiting a long time, Lou-Lou, because the only ass being kicked tonight is yours." 

;;

"I can't believe this." Zayn says, staring up at the scoreboards. "I'm amazing at bowling!"   
"But I'm better." Louis grins, holding his ball closer to his chest. 

They're on their last game and Louis has won every single one. 

He internally thanks his mother for the bowling lessons.   
"Ugh!" Zayn yells, stomping his foot in a display of anger at Louis' spare. "How are you even real?!" 

Louis grins, taking his seat on the bench as Zayn bowls.   
"Beautiful, snarky, and a great bowler?!" Zayn mutters to himself. "Holy fucking shit." 

Louis grins to himself, watching Zayn as he knocks down seven pins.   
"All I need is a spare. I can do that." He mutters to himself and Louis laughs. 

Zayn has no chance. 

He's down by nearly one hundred points and there's only two brackets left.   
"Good luck, sweet cheeks!" Louis yells and Zayn fumbles, the ball rolling straight into the gutter. 

Zayn turns, pointing a finger at Louis.   
"You did that on purpose!"   
"What? I was simply wishing my date good luck. No harm intended." Louis raises his hands, smirking.   
"You are a cheater!" Zayn shakes his head as Louis steps forward to bowl. "A cheater with a great ass." 

;;

Louis ends up winning all three games like he knew he would. 

Zayn makes him buy the pizza because he is a _"cheater, cheater, best-friend eater"_. Louis has no idea what eating best-mates has to do with winning bowling, but he buys the pizza anyway. 

They arrive at Louis' flat when it's just after midnight. 

Zayn walks him to the door, holding a box with two slices of pizza inside.   
"I had an amazing time tonight." Louis admits, unlocking his door. "I really enjoyed the kicking your ass at bowling part."   
"Oh, shut it." Zayn pouts. "You cheated and you know it."   
"We should do this again." Louis says, smiling.   
"We definitely should."   
"And I mean, like soon. Like tomorrow soon."   
"Patience, young grasshopper. You must leave some mystery to be sought after."   
"I'm patient." Louis frowns. "I just really like hanging with you." 

Zayn grins wide enough that Louis is sure that it's a message from God. _"Oh, Louis, I hope you enjoy looking at my beautiful angel, Zayn Malik!"_ or something.   
"Yeah, me too." Zayn admits. "Your asshole of an ex was so wrong about your personality, by the way."   
"Yeah?"   
"Yeah. I think its the hottest thing I've ever seen." Zayn smirks, devious. " _You're_ the hottest thing I've ever seen."

Louis has never been too secure in himself, but Zayn-the-Angel's comments definitely help.   
"Excuse you. You look in the mirror, right? Because you, my friend, are an angel straight out of heaven." 

Zayn laughs and it's brilliant and white and Louis just wants to kiss him.   
"I should get going." Zayn points back at his car. "But first--" He leans forward and kisses Louis, soft. 

Louis reaches up and tangles his hands in the silky locks of Zayn's hair, wondering how many people were lucky enough to do the same.   
"Good night." Zayn mumbles against Louis' lips. "I'll text you."   
"Okay." Louis smiles, eyes shut. "And I'll answer." 

Zayn kisses Louis one more time before he ducks away and gets in his car. He starts it, but doesn't drive away until Louis is safely inside. Which, Louis can't help but adore. 

He places the box of pizza on the counter and touches his lips, feeling exceptionally special because he'd gotten to touch angelic Zayn Malik. 

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out.

_**From Zayn at 12:35am** _

_**dinner tomorrow?? we can go skating afterwards??? at least you can't cheat at that.** _

**To Zayn at 12:35am**

**i never cheat. i'm just that good.**

**but you're on.**

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> kudos and comments are greatly appreciated.


End file.
